Agnostic Church of
Breckenridge
Ag nos tic \ag-nas-tik\ One who holds the view that any ultimate reality is unknown and probably unknowable.
Founded in 1994, the Agnostic Church of Breckenridge worships the “Great Outdoors,” and makes several pilgrimages to its mecca, the top of Peak 7, each year. After receiving one’s baptism in the Holy Hot Tub, members of the church must promise to appall someone soon, and take a shot of tequila. With a sacrament of nachos and a beer, the motto of the church is “We haven’t got a prayer!”
Peace on Earth!
ACB Top 10 COMMANDMENTS
10.Thou shall not cut lift lines.
9. Thou shall not covet thy neighbours sheep
8. Thou shall keep thy sword sheathed
7. Man of great speed who cuts ropes shall lose his way
6. She who free-heels is one buffed Betty
5. When naked in a garden, refuse the first bite
4. Thou shall covet thy neighbours wife
3. Thou shall not rip off thy neighbours board
2. Thou shall not enter thy hot tub clothed
1. One with tips crossed shall find he has no center
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(Don’t ask us about the secret radical splinter group of the church.)