As a waiter, I often wonder how, when a table splits a check, how do two separate credit card payers come up with the same exact tip? Is it agreed upon, or is it purely coincidence?
- befuddled waiter in Frisco
Whoever has the Amex gold card is the one to leave the tip. And please, don't use that fancy credit card for breakfast! Crap, man, the whole freaking meal costs you 8 bucks and that includes juice. For God's sake, pull out some cash! You aren't impressing anyone, especially the wait staff that tends to get screwed at breakfast with credit tabs. Leave some dough, lots of it and let their day start as well as yours! When you start bickering about the tip, you know you have some self-esteem issues to work through.
Can you explain the actions of Chuck Garrison? When everyone was out looking for his wife, he was just chillin' in his house, when all the while she was there in the driveway. Does this guy deserve the death penalty or what?
- vigilante nominee in Breck
Who is Chuck Garrison and why do I care? His wife? Dead? Man, you are bringing down the buzz at this party. Let's not talk of killing people, let's talk about bowling.
Yes, bowling. It is back and better than ever. Masses of 20 and 30 something's are flocking Thursday through Sunday to bowling allies for bad beer, bad chicken wings and lots of ball lofting down rickety lanes. Why? Why bowling? Is it the next logical step from Professional Wrestling? Is it the new Zen for the 21st Century? Is it the perfect price for Hamms beer and the striking fashion statement of bowling shoes? All I know is that I will not be left behind on the new fad. I now have league play four nights a week, especially ladies night! And so I have no time for the intricacies of Mr. Garrison's prosecution.
There's this girl that I like, but she has unfinished business with some other dude. We seem to get on alright, but the ball is in her court. Should I just lay by the wayside and wait to see what happens or should I play some kind of active role in this deal. I don't want to rock the boat, though. Please help.
- Have-no-say in Silverthorne
A long time ago, I was given the most important, most successful, most powerful tip for gaining the attention of an other. COURAGE. Don't be a wimpy ass milk toast waiting for something to happen. Sitting in the living room of your mobile home waiting for the phone to ring or the door knocker to rattle will not get you game. Ask the girl out. Talk to her. Say hi to her. Flirt with her. Let her know you exist. Courage works in the hands of the aggressor. The world is weak. Ask her out. She won't say no. People fear NO. Knowing this gives you the edge. Rock that boat. Or stay home and pick out new tile samples for the bathroom, but don't blame me for being alone on Saturday with a second hand copy of Hustler and calluses on your hand!
If someone breaks your glass bong, what is an acceptable amount of time for them to replace it?
- leaky bong owner in Dillon
Ah, finally, a question that we all need answered. Etiquette at the dawn of a new century. Let's face it, a leaky broken bong does no one any good. Typically a good amount of time would be three days. Just long enough to sober up and get to town to buy another. I remember once in college, G.W., Al and I were toking up real nice on a Friday night. Al had a date with Tipper later and he was real nervous. GW was off to a frat bash and wanted to get toasted. They came over to my house, because as you all know, I have the kindest bud. Well, Al was so scared about this date with a real live GIRL, that he got up to go take a whiz, knocked the bong off the coffee table and it crashed on the floor, shattering it into many pieces. The embarrassment was severe, but the important point is that the party went on. By Tuesday, Al came over with a nice, new Graphix and some complimentary weed in which to inaugurate.
That friends, is down right mannerly.
How realistic are Bush's chances of winning the presidential election? Do you still think voting for Nader will only help Bush? Do you think the election will be as close as the current polls indicate?
- still undecided in Breck
The polls are neck and neck. The electoral college polling, state by state shows a dead heat. The popular vote is also a statistical tie with both of the major party candidates leading, depending on the poll. Nader and Buchanan's protest votes, as shown in polls, is dwindling, as folks wake up and realize that those protests could place an unqualified, under educated, over employed Texan in the White House. End this protest now or face the consequences of four more years of Trickle Down, 80s style government. Sending your vote to Nader will not send a message to the smug Republicans, who will take office as long as Nader seems a viable option. Its either that or move to Tahiti, an idea which also has merit.
As always, Rerun thanks you for your patronage.